“Stop trying to fix yourself. You are not broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure. – Steve Maraboli
Have you ever felt inadequate in some way or another? As if, you are not enough? And you feel weighed down by expectations of others which you believe you can’t fulfil? Some may feel that in relationships, others in work, others in their creative pursuits. Actually, I don’t think there would be anyone who doesn’t feel insecure about themselves.
Ever heard of the Imposter Syndrome? It is the idea that you’ve only succeeded due to luck, and not because of your talent or qualifications.
I for one, have felt it countless times. One of the organisations I worked for, was extremely toxic, where i felt it even more so. Each time I would walk into a room I would feel judged, as if they wanted me to fail. If I did anything well, it was because of something or someone else and not because of me. My insecurities knew no bound.
And when I left that workplace, I felt so light. As if a huge weight had been taken off me. It took a while to gain some of my confidence back.
And often we believe, that it’s just us. That we are alone in this. Everyone else seems so confident. Well, research suggests that 9%–82% of people experience impostor syndrome. The numbers may vary depending on who participates in a study. Many people experience symptoms for a limited time, such as in the first few weeks of a new job. For others, the experience can be lifelong.
Bottomline, we are not alone!
And especially in this phase of my life, I do have times when I feel insecure. Insecure about my body, insecure about my career, insecure about people’s reaction to my disease, insecure about if I am doing enough for my kid right now and more. And while they are fleeting, I know they do exist.
Often times you don’t need to do anything about it, since it has no consequence on the outcome. It’s only when it becomes a derailer in your progress that you need to jolt yourself out of it.
So what can we do about it? 2 simple things just to get started..
- Acknowledge that it exists – just remember, we are human… and to err is human. No one is perfect, and that’s the beauty of existence else what will there be to improve… why would we have goals? So, accept that it is ok to be imperfect. Don’t let it make you a victim. You might want to go deeper and figure why you are feeling these emotions. It will definitely help you rationalise a lot of it. It’s like asking ‘why’ five times and keep going deeper.
- Talk to someone – I have learnt the value of this only now. When I voice my fears or doubts. And the people you trust will undoubtedly surprise you with their opinions. These people don’t judge you, they see you for who you truly are. They see the “Blind Spots” as per the Johari’s window.
You know, we are all unique, and that’s the beauty of our imperfections. Our raw-ness I guess. So cut yourself some slack. Wouldn’t we be God otherwise? How boring.
So here is me, sending out my thought to the universe, that I am okay with my imperfections. That’s what makes me beautiful in my own way.