In the end we only regret the chances we did not take…
When a close friend of mine decided to marry someone she had met a handful number of times; someone whom she barely knew; someone for whom she would need to leave the country, her job, stability and independence, someone whose family she would probably meet only once before the wedding; it came as a complete shocker to us.
I remember a conversation with her a year down where she said that one of the biggest decisions of her life was basically a ‘leap of faith’. Had she been scared? Of course; she had been shitting bricks actually, but there was an instinct telling her she was making the right choice. Is she happy now? Very much! Would she change anything in this situation? Never asked, but probably not.
Cut to a year later, and I was going through a painful relationship phase where I knew things were not working. We had been together for almost a decade and it seemed insane to throw it all away. Then there was the fear, the fear of being judged for taking a harsh step, the fear of being alone, the fear of not finding anyone to love. but while all these fears were racing through my mind, the only thing I knew – this was not where I wanted to be.
There are so many situations in our life, where we are presented with choices and no answers to all our questions. Leaving a comfortable cushy job to work in a startup, taking up a completely new & alien role, leaving a job for higher studies, shifting cities without a job and the list goes on. Sometimes, like me you might know what you don’t want. Sometimes you will know what you want but have some paralytic fear to go for it. And usually you will always-always have a “gut feeling” about the situation.
But often, the biggest hurdle we face in going with our instincts are the inner voices. The ones that create self-doubt and fear and bring in the ‘what-ifs’. And these can be debilitating. Because they gnaw at your self-confidence and the courage it takes to have that faith. And the next hurdle is our love for our comfort zones. Why would we stir up trouble when things are bearable. Or even if they are unbearable atleast we know what is happening as against the unknown. And with this, so many of us carry on in unhappy marriages or with terrible bosses because we aren’t certain of what we expect or want. In the end, we will see years pass by lined with the regrets of not having done what might have truly made us happy.
Now even if you do take the leap, it’s not guaranteed that things will materialise exactly how you would want it to, but it’s important to know, that the road doesn’t end there. And the leap of faith you took was the best decision you could take given those circumstances – always remember it’s different from blind faith.
I truly believe that some of the best decisions of my life have been taken without going from analysis to paralysis. And they always felt like an adventure since the only rationale I had at that time was, that I believed it would make me happy. These decisions completely took me out of my comfort zone and were honestly like roller coaster rides. And I’m not saying they all worked out for the best. But what was important for me was that I listened to my heart – not all decisions can be driven by the head right?
So the next time you are in a quandary about taking the leap of faith, take a chance, it’s okay if you are scared, but don’t let that stop you. You never know what next adventure is waiting for you!
Leaving you with a few lines from my favorite song (and its English translation):
Pairon ki bediyan khwaabon ko baandhe nahi re, kabhi nahi re.....(The shackles on the legs can't lock the dreams)Mitti ki parton ko nanhe se ankur bhi cheere, dheere, dheere..... (Even small seeds can dig through the layer of soil slowly)Iraade hare bhare jinke seeno mein ghar kare..... (Those who have strong intentions in their heart)Woh dil ki sune kare, na darre, na darre..... (They never fear to listen and do what their heart wants)