Sometimes the bravest and most important thing you can do is just show up. – Brene Brown
Husband: “XYZ has invited us over for lunch. Wanna go?”
Me (in my head): Why would you even ask me to go? I don’t want to do anything. I just want to sit at home and sulk. When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognise myself, how will others recognise me?
Me post lunch: That was actually fun. I feel so much lighter and happy. Am so glad I went.
Story of our lives? Days when we just don’t ‘feel like it’. Where staying at home or in our blanket seems more important or soothing than stepping out and facing the world?
Sigh! Who knew Newton’s Law of Inertia would weigh down so heavily on us!!
I have many, many such days. Especially now. Things like getting up and exercising, or taking my son to the park, or just stepping out for coffee seems unmanageable.
But then when you make it happen, it isn’t so bad! And you wonder why you created all that drama in your head. On the other hand, if you wait for that magical moment when you “feel like doing it”; guess it will never come.
Honestly, I have realized how important it is for me, in this current situation, just to show up and make things happen. Because everything I do now, has a bearing on my future.
Okay okay, not everything … but yeah most!
Now I have always been a serial procrastinator. Need to exercise…let’s watch Netflix for 15min. Need to write my blog…let’s check Facebook and the list goes on. So, just making things happen is a huge deal for me. Because showing up is basically about going through a feeling of discomfort and why would we want to stir a hornet’s nest right?
Basically, there is no easy way to make it happen. Sometimes it’s simply about saying a prayer and stepping into the fire. But most times, it is about the small things we can do.
Choose your hard:
Well! Still fresh in your memory (from my last article)? It’s always a choice and sometimes the hard one is the right one. It just needs a bit of push. Some days you manage it and some days you don’t.
But the days you do decide to show up, make them count. Because you really overcame some sort of blackhole like gravity to make it.
Your inner voices will always be at their peak when you are making your choice. Which one you listen to will finally decide what you do. So it’s very important to focus the conversation on what outcome you are trying to achieve. Put it on repeat mode e.g. I need to exercise to be healthy. Drown the other voice out with this constant babble. Trust me, it works. I sometimes have to keep doing this even while my task is on, to ensure I don’t give up midway.
Taking that first baby step:
Which brings me to my next point. No one is expecting a giant leap. Take small steps and get used to the rhythm, before you think you are ready to make that pole vault.
When I started yoga, I remember feeling miserable. I had no flexibility, and I could barely do any postures (asanas). But I also knew it was something that would help me through my chemotherapy. So with some prodding from my teacher and some gentle treading I was able to get to a point where I actually started enjoying yoga.
So to end this monologue, here is a small anecdote. A friend of mine has recently started jogging – which is a first for her. In a conversation, she happened to mention – that initially she did not quite enjoy it, but was told to keep at it and to not quit. So she did her level best to keep at it! And after a couple of days, even though she would be gasping for breath; at the end of the jog she would feel ridiculously awesome. Just the entire process of overcoming her laziness, boredom, fears; whatever it was that prevented her from jogging; was enough to get her adrenaline pumping. Her excitement was palpable – reason being… she showed up even when she did not feel like it.
Moral of the story, some of our most amazing experiences come from just showing up. Doesn’t seem a bad deal eh?