So, we just finished celebrating Diwali, in a muted covid restrictive sort of way. Last year I barely remember it, guess the shock of finding out about my cancer and the subsequent treatment had pretty much muted any celebrations I would have otherwise felt like indulging in.
However this year is different. This time, I am content, and calm. I feel grateful for whatever and whoever I have in my life. They say trauma helps put a lot of perspective in your life. Well, cancer certainly did.
You know, Diwali is a victory of good over evil. The vanquishing of the demons and the start of something new. So today’s post is dedicated to our inner demons which raise their head ever so often and love scaring the living daylights out of us.
Now Carl Jung, the noted psychiatrist and psychoanalyst calls these demons our shadow self which is our dark side of our personality. Which if not understood and accepted, can lead to all sorts of limiting beliefs.
And honestly, had it not been for the challenges of this year, I wouldn’t have even embarked on this journey of finding my demons and working with them.
And I had so many fears
- Fear of judgement
- Fear of being labelled ‘weak’
- Fear of putting myself out there
- Fear of self-image
And the list continues. But somehow over this year, I have slowly and consciously tried to work on them.
The stories we tell ourselves
Every demon has a story attached to it. A narrative we keep telling ourselves. And every experience we have that supports that narrative, makes the demon bigger and stronger. Every time I spoke of a demon, my counsellor would ask me what made me feel that way, and each time I realised it was an internal sob story or a judgment I had created in my mind. It had nothing to do with the outside world.
For e.g. the judgment of being labelled “weak”. Had someone made me feel that way? Not really. So what made me feel it? My own judgement of people with cancer or any critical disease. And its strange, because my mother had kidney failure for 20years and she from no angle would I term as weak. Instead, she was a warrior from the word go. So, for me to even think something like this is odd. Anyways, moral of the story, sometimes it is about just understanding the stories we keep telling ourselves and understanding how to change it.
What is this demon not helping us achieve or become?
How important is it for us to vanquish this demon? In coaching, we always ask the coachee what makes an outcome they are trying to achieve important for them. if it isn’t important, it will not happen; simple! But how is the demon stopping us from reaching our full potential? Is it our biggest roadblock from achieving success or happiness? Ask yourself that.
In my journey as a Coach, I had realised the importance of sharing my story. To make it known, what had and is happening to me. So, I could reach out to as many people who needed me. It was like my discomfort of putting myself out there should not be bigger than my goal. Sometimes, its about asking yourself these hard questions, and seeking help to overcome them.
Whom do you associate with?
Often the quality of people whom you associate with dictates the sort of demons you have. Seek out people who bring you calm, who push you to achieve more. Who believe in your dreams and are there for you through it all?
This year has brought such amazing people in my life and strengthened the bonds I already had. So find your people. It matters the most!
So this is where I end my rambling on Diwali day. Happy Diwali guys! Hope this year you emerge victorious over some of your inner demons. May the light burn bright for you and your family!